penantianku

Sepi yang kau tinggalkan untukku


Tak juga menghentikan rasaku untukkmu

Walau pedih yang kau beri untukku

Aku akan tetap bertahan untukmu

Cintaku untukmu

Adalah cintaku pada keabadian

Seperti malam yang tak pernah berhenti

Menyambut datangnya pagi

Dan pagi yang tak pernah lelah menanti malam

Ini bukanlah kemunafikan

Hati yang mendambamu

Tak akan berhenti walau kau tak pernah kembali

Mungkin ini kebodohan

Tapi inilah cintaku

Membiarkan sang waktu membawaku

Pada akhir semua jawaban hatimu

Meski ragamu diam membisu

Tapi tidak dengan hatimu

Meski kenyataan itu tak juga datang

Tapi mimpi ini akan selalu menemaniku

And finally

I’m die in my dream

 
by, bunda barra

perpisahan

Mungkin terasa sakit


Jika aku harus mengingat

Hari terakhir kita bertemu

Walau tak bertatap

Tembok cinta yang tlah kita bangun

Dengan sejuta kasih dan harapan

Seketika runtuh dan hancur

Kalimat itu,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Telah mematahkan semuanya

Hati dan perasaanku

Air mataku tak lagi mampu menahan

Rasa yang membunah kesedihan ini

Hilang,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Aku harus kehilanganmu

Kehilangan cinta yang kujaga

Untukmu,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Tapi aku akan selalu menyimpan cinta ini

Didalam tempat terdalam

Di hati dan kegidupanku

Agar kenangan ini tak terusik dan selalu abadi untuk kita



By, bunda barra

kegalauan

Terdiamku dalam hening


Jiwa tak mampu lagi berharap

Hati tak lagi mampu menahan gundah

Telah sampai galau ini diujung keresahan

Saat mata hati tak mampu lagi memandang

Aku pilu dalam kebisuanku

Segalanya tak bertepi

Sepi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Aku takut saat sang waktu mulai beranjak

Perih,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Aku takut rasa itu memenjarakanku

Takut,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Aku takut dengan semuanya

Aku takut dengan hatiku

Yang seketika menangis

Saat kurenungi hadirmu dalam hidupku

Aku takut cinta itu mulai menipis

Tergores tajamnya pemikiranmu

Aku tekut kehilangan

Hati yang tlah lama ku miliki

Hati yang slalu mengisi jiwa dan hidupku

Yang menghidupkan nadiku

Dalam jantung kehidupanku



By, bunda barra

tak ingin lagi

kurebahkan lelahku dalam sandaranku


kusandarkan sedikit peluhku pada pundakmu

ku coba rehat sejenak

akan semua lelahnya hatiku

ku ingin sejenak melupakan

kejadian - kejadian pahit itu

ku tak ingin terjerat dengan lara - lara ini

ku tak ingin tersakiti oelh luka-luka ini

luka yang selalu kau buat

saat hatiku lemah

dalam perihku

ku ingin selipkan satu senyum

agar kutetap mampu bertahan

ku coba membalutnya sedikit demi sedikit

agar luka-lukaku cepat sembuh dan menghilang

aku ingin hidup bahagia

aku ingin berlari tanpa beban

yang semakin memberatkan langkahku

aku ingin khayalanku nyata

indah pada waktunya



by , bunda barra

puisi bunda

WIDIYANTI DWI SAPUTRI




Waktuku, yang slalu setia menemaniku

Ingin kugapai indah cinta itu

Dalam diam ku coba meraihnya

Irama dalam symphony cintamu

Yang mengalun bagai alunan melodi

Aromanya mengisi setiap ruang jiwaku

Nyata dalam detak jantungku

Terbesit segala keresahan hati

Ingin kutuangkan dalam pelukanmu

Dan takkan kumenghapus jejak itu

Walau pahit menyibak dalam kegalauan

Ingatan ini takkan terhapus

Selama kau selalu ada disisiku

Aku akan yakin dan percaya cinta itu ada

Pusara yang menungguku disana

Untuk mempertemukanku pada keabadian

Takkan menghalangi rasaku untukmu

Rasa yang kan slalu tersimpan dalam kehidupanku

Ingatanku akan slalu membawaku kepadamu

jika dia untukku

Sempat terbesit dalam setiap doaku


Untuk apa aku disini

Dan kenapa kau pertemukan kami disini

Apakah ini jalan yang kau pilih tuk kami

Ya Allah ,,,,,,,,,,,

Jika memang ini jalan kami

Biarkan kami merenda hari kami bersama

Menapaki jalan ini bersama

Hidup bersama dalam kekuatanmu

Ajarkanlah pada kami akan kekuatan cinta itu

Jangan biarkan kami saling menyakiti

Jangan biarkan kami saling menghianati

Tunjukkan pada kami cinta yang hakiki

Cinta yang selalu kau ridhoi

Hingga pada masanya nanti

Kami kan kembali lagi kepada-Mu

Setidaknya izinkan kami menjadi bukti

Bahwa cinta-Mu lah yang abadi



By’ bunda barra

jika dia untukku

Bergegas ku berlari


Saat seketika ku teringat

Kau tertinggal jauh disana

Ku tak ingin kau menghilang dalam kegelapan itu

Ku ingin meraihmu

Tuk kembali disisiku

Ya Allah,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Bantu dia kembali padaku

Jangan kau biarkan dia pergi

Menjauh berlalu dari kehidupanku

Ku ingin merangkul bahagia ini bersamanya

Menata dunia dalam genggaman kami

Tunjukanlah padanya jalan kembali

Bawa dia kembali padaku

Hari ini, esok atau kapanpun waktunya

Ku ingin slalu bersamanya





By’ bunda barra

A Place For My Head

A Place For My Head



I watch how the

Moon sits in the sky / in the dark night

Shining with the light from the sun

The sun doesn't give / light to the moon assuming

The moon’s going to owe it one

It makes me think of how you act to me / You do

Favors and then rapidly / You just

Turn around and start asking me / about

Things you want back from me

I’m sick of the tension / sick of the hunger

Sick of you acting like I owe you this

Find another place / to feed your greed -

While I find a place to rest

I want to be in another place

I hate when you say you don’t understand

(You’ll see it's not meant to be)

I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy

A place for my head

Maybe someday I’ll be just like you / and

Step on people like you do and / Run

Away the people I thought I knew

I remember back then who you were

You used to be calm / used to be strong

Used to be generous / but you should’ve known / That you’d

Wear out your welcome / now you see

How quiet it is / all alone / I’m so

Sick of the tension / sick of the hunger

Sick of you acting like I owe you this

Find another place / to feed your greed -

While / I find a place to rest / I’m so

Sick of the tension / sick of the hunger

Sick of you acting like I owe you this

Find another place / to feed your greed -

While / I find a place to rest

You try to take the best of me

Go away



Breaking The Habbit



Memories concern

Like opening the wound

I'm picking me apart again

You all assume

I'm safer in my room

Unless I try to start again



I don't want to be the one

Who battles always choose

Cuz inside I realize

That I'm the one confused



I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I know it's not alright

So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit tonight



Cultured my cure

I tightly lock the door

I try to catch my breath again

I hurt much more

Than anytime before

I have no options left again



I dont want to be the one

Who battles always choose

Cuz inside I realize

That I'm the one confused



I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

So, I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit tonight



I'll paint it on the walls

Cuz I'm the one that falls

I'll never fight again

and this is how it ends



I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

But now I have some clarity

to show you what I mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

So, I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit

Breaking the habit tonight



By Myself



What do I do to ignore them behind me?

Do I follow my instincts blindly?

Do I hide my pride / from these bad dreams

And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?

Do I / sit here and try to stand it?

Or do I / try to catch them red – handed?

Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,

Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?

Because I can’t hold on / when I’m stretched so thin

I make the right moves but I’m lost within

I put on my daily façade but then

I just end up getting hurt again

By myself [myself]

I ask why, but in my mind

I find I can’t rely on myself

chorus:

I can’t hold on

To what I want when I’m stretched so thin

It’s all too much to take in

I can’t hold on

To anything watching everything spin

With thoughts of failure sinking in

If I

Turn my back I’m defenseless

And to go blindly seems senseless

If I hide my pride and let it all go on / then they’ll

Take from me ‘till everything is gone

If I let them go I’ll be outdone

But if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun

If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer

Then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer

[by myself]

How do you think / I’ve lost so much

I’m so afraid / I’m out of touch

How do you expect / I will know what to do

When all I know / Is what you tell me to

Don’t you know

I can’t tell you how to make it go

No matter what I do, how hard I try

I can’t seem to convince myself why

I’m stuck on the outside



Crawling



[chorus:]

crawling in my skin

these wounds they will not heal

fear is how i fall

confusing what is real



there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface

consuming/confusing

this lack of self-control i fear is never ending

controlling/i can't seem



[bridge:]

to find myself again

my walls are closing in

(without a sense of confidence and i'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)

i've felt this way before

so insecure



[chorus]



discomfort,endlessly has pulled itself upon me

distracting/reacting

against my will i stand beside my own reflection

it's haunting how i can't seem...



[bridge]



[chorus]



[chorus]



Don`t Stay



Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe

Sometimes I need you to stay away from me

Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know

Somehow I need you to go



Don't stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

What you were changing me into

Just take myself back and

Don't stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

Take all your faithlessness with you

Just take myself back and

Don't stay



Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well

Sometimes I just feel like strangling you myself

Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know

Somehow I need to be alone



Don't stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

What you were changing me into

Just take myself back and

Don't stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

Take all your faithlessness with you

Just take myself back and

Don't stay



I don’t need you anymore, don’t want to be ignored

I don’t need one more day, of you wasting me away

I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored

I don’t need one more day, of you wasting me away

With no apologies



Don't stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

What you were changing me into

Just take myself back and

Don't stay

Forget our memories

Forget our possibilities

Take all your faithlessness with you

Just take myself back and

Don't stay



Don't stay



Don't stay



Easier To Run



[Chester]

It’s easier to run

Replacing this pain with something more

It’s so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone



Something has been taken from deep inside of me

The secret I’ve kept locked away no one can ever see

Wounds so deep they never show they never go away

Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they’ve played



[Mike]

If I could change I would take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could stand up and take the blame I would

If I could take all the shame to the grave I would

If I could change I would take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could stand up and take the blame I would

I would take all my shame to the grave



[Chester]

It’s easier to run

Replacing this pain with something more

It’s so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone



Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past

Bringing back these memories I wish I didn’t have

Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back



Faint



I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard

Handful of complaints, but I can help the fact, that everybody can see these scars

What I want you to want, what I want you to feel

But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real

So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do

Face away and pretend that I'm not

But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got



I can't feel the way I did before

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored

Time won't heal this damage anymore

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored



I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident

'Cause you don't understand, I do what I can, but sometimes I don't make sense

I say what you never wanna say, but I've never had a doubt

It's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, for once just to hear me out

So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do

Face away and pretend that I'm not

But I'll be here 'cause you want what I've got



I can't feel the way I did before

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored

Time won't heal this damage anymore

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored



Now

Hear me out now

You're gonna listen to me, like it or not

Right now

Hear me out now

You're gonna listen to me, like it or not

Right now



I can't feel the way I did before

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored



I can't feel the way I did before

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored

Time won't heal this damage anymore

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored



I can't feel

I won't be ignored

Time won't heal

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored



Forgotten



From the top to the bottom

Bottom to top I stop

At the core I’ve forgotten

In the middle of my thoughts

Taken far from my safety

The picture is there

The memory won’t escape me

But why should I care

[Chorus x2]



There’s a place so dark you can’t see the end

Skies cock back and shock that which can’t defend

The rain then sends dripping / acidic question

Forcefully, the power of suggestion

Then with the eyes shut / looking thought the rust and rot

And dust / a small spot of light floods the floor

And pours over the rusted world of pretend

The eyes ease open and its dark again



[Chorus x1]



In the memory you’ll find me

Eyes burning up

The darkness holding me tightly

Until the sun rises up



Moving all around / screaming of the ups and downs

Pollution manifested in perpetual sound

The wheels go round and the sunset creeps behind

Street lamps, chain-link and concrete

A little piece of paper with a picture drawn floats

On down the street till the wind is gone

The memory now is like the picture was then

When the paper’s crumpled up it can’t be perfect again



[Chorus x2]



In the memory you’ll find me

Eyes burning up

The darkness holding me tightly

Until the sun rises up



Now you got me caught in the act

You bring the thought back

I’m telling you that

I see it right through you

[x7]



In the memory you’ll find me

Eyes burning up

The darkness holding me tightly

Until the sun rises up

[x2]



From The Inside



I don’t know who to trust, your surprise

Everything feel so far away from me

Have your thoughts sent through dust, and the lies

Trying not to break, but I’m so tired of this to see

Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet

All I ever think about is this, all the time and time between

And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me



Take everything from the inside

And throw it all away

‘Cause I swear for the last time

I won’t trust myself with you



Tension is building inside, steadily

You feel so far away from me

Have your thoughts forcing their way out of me



Trying not to break, but I’m so tired of this deceit

Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet

All I ever think about is this, all the time and time between

And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me



Take everything from the inside

And throw it all away

Cause I swear for the last time

I won’t trust myself with you

I won’t waste myself on you!!!

You!!!

You!!!

Waste myself on you!!!

You!!!

You!!!



I’ll take everything from the inside

And throw it all away

‘Cause I swear for the last time

I won’t trust myself with you

Everything from the inside

And throw it all away

‘Cause I swear for the last time

I won’t trust myself with you

You

You

You



In The End



(It starts with)

One thing / I don’t know why

It doesn’t even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme

To explain in due time

All I know

time is a valuable thing

Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

Watch it count down to the end of the day

The clock ticks life away

It’s so unreal

Didn’t look out below

Watch the time go right out the window

Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know

Wasted it all just to

Watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart

What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried

so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

One thing / I don’t know why

It doesn’t even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme

To remind myself how

I tried so hard

In spite of the way you were mocking me

Acting like I was part of your property

Remembering all the times you fought with me

I’m surprised it got so (far)

Things aren’t the way they were before

You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore

Not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me

In the end

You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart

What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

I've put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

And for all this

There’s only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

And for all this

There’s only one thing you should know

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn’t even matter



Lying From You



When I pretend, everything is what I want it be,

I looked exactly like what you always wanted to see

When I pretend, I can’t forget about the criminal I am

Stealing second after second just cause I know I can, but

I can’t pretend that this is they way it will stay, I’m just

(Lying to defend the truth)

I can’t pretend of who you want me to be so

(I’m lying my way from)



You

(Nah, no turning back now)

I wanna be close beside so let me go

(Nah, no turning back now)

Let me take me back my life

I’d rather be all alone

(No turning back now)

And anywhere on my own, cause I can see

(Nah, no turning back now)

’Cause everyone’s lying from you

WITH ME



I remember what they taught to me,

Remember condescending took for what I ought to be

Remember fussing and all of that and this again

so I could turned it up to the person who was feeling it

And now you think this person really is me and I

(Trying to defend the truth )

yo, the more I push I’m pulling away cause I’m

(Lying my way from)



You

(Nah, no turning back now)

I wanna be close beside so let me go

(Nah, no turning back now)

Let me take me back my life

I’d rather be all alone

(No turning back now)

And anywhere on my own, cause I can see

(Nah, no turning back now)

’Cause everyone’s lying from you

WITH ME



This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought what I said would have you running from me

LIKE THIS!

This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought what I said would have you running from me

LIKE THIS!

This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought what I said would have you running from me

LIKE THIS!

This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought what I said would have you running from me

LIKE THIS!



You

(Nah, no turning back now)

I wanna be close beside so let me go

(Nah, no turning back now)

Let me take me back my life

I’d rather be all alone

(No turning back now)

And anywhere on my own, cause I can see

(Nah, no turning back now)

’Cause everyone’s lying from you

WITH ME



My December



This is my December

This is my time of the year

This is my December

This is all so clear

This is my December

This is my snow covered home

This is my December

This is me alone



And I

Just wish that

I didn't feel

Like there was

Something I missed

And I

Take back all

The things I said

To make you

Feel like that

And I

Just wish that

I didn't feel

Like there was

Something I missed

And I

Take back all the

Things I said to you



And I give it all away

Just to have somewhere

To go to

Give it all away

To have someone

To come home to



This is my December

These are my snow covered dreams

This is me pretending

This is all I need



And I

Just wish that

I didn't feel

Like there was

Something I missed

And I

Take back all

The things I said

To make you feel like that

And I

Just wish that

I didn't feel

Like there was

Something I missed

And I

Take back all the things

I said to you



And I give it all away

Just to have

Somewhere to go to

Give it all away

To have someone

To come home to



This is my December

This is my time of the year

This is my December

This is all so clear



And I give it all away

Just to have somewhere

To go to

Give it all away

To have someone

To come home to



Numb



I'm tired of being what you want me to be

feeling so faithless

lost under the surface

I don't know what you're expecting of me

put under the pressure

of walking in your shoes

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

every step that I take is another mistake to you



I've

become so numb

I can't feel you there

become so tired

so much more aware

I'm becoming this

all I want to do

is be more like me

and be less like you



can't you see that you're smothering me

holding too tightly

afraid to lose control

cause everything that you thought I would be

has fallen apart right in front of you



[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

every step that I take is another mistake to you

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

and every second I waste is more than I can take



but I know

I may end up failing too

but I know

you were just like me

with someone disappointed in you



One Step Closer



I cannot take this anymore

I'm saying everything I've said before

All these words they make no sense

I find bliss in ignorance

Less I hear the less you'll say

But you'll find that out anyway

Just like before...

Everything you say to me

Takes me one step closer to the edge

And I'm about to break

I need a little room to breathe

Cause I'm one step closer to the edge

And I'm about to break

I find the answers aren't so clear

Wish I could find a way to disappear

All these thoughts they make no sense

I find bliss in ignorance

Nothing seems to go away

Over and over again

shut up when I'm talking to you



Papercut



Why does it feel like night today?

Something in here’s not right today…

Why am I so uptight today?

Paranoia’s all I got left

I don’t know what stressed me first

Or how the pressure was fed / but

I know just what it feels like

To have a voice in the back of my head

It’s like a face that I hold inside

A face that awakes when I close my eyes

A face watches every time I lie

A face that laughs every time I fall

(And watches everything)

So I know that when it’s time to sink or swim

That the face inside is hearing me / right beneath my skin

It’s like I’m / paranoid lookin’ over my back

It’s like a / whirlwind inside of my head

It’s like I / can’t stop what I’m hearing within

It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I’ve got a face in me

points out all the mistakes to me

You’ve got a face on the inside too and

Your paranoia’s probably worse

I don’t know what set me off first but I know what I can’t stand

Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is

I can’t add up to what you can but

Everybody has a face that they hold inside

A face that awakes when they close their eyes

A face watches every time they lie

A face that laughs every time they fall

(And watches everything)

So you know that when it’s time to sink or swim

That the face inside is watching you too / right inside your skin

The sun goes down

I feel the light betray me



Point Of Authority



Forfeit the game

Before somebody else

Takes you out of the frame

Puts your name to shame

Cover up your face

You can't run the race

The pace is too fast

You just won't last



You love the way i look at you

While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through

You take away if i give in

My life

My pride is broken



[Chorus:]

You like to think you're never wrong

(You live what you learn)

You have to act like you're someone

(You live what you learn)

You want someone to hurt like you

(You live what you learn)

You want to share what you have been through

(You live what you learn)



You love the things i say i'll do

The way i'll hurt myself again just get back at you

You take away when I give in

My life

My pride is broken



[Chorus]



[repeat again the song]



Pushing Me Away



I've lied to you

The same way that I always do

This is the last smile

That I'll fake for the sake of being with you



(Everything falls apart

Even the people who never frown

Eventually break down)

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

(Everything has to end

You'll soon find we're out of time left

To watch it all unwind)

The sacrifice is never knowing



Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away



I've tried like you

To do everything you wanted too

This is the last time

I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you



(Everything falls apart

Even the people who never frown

Eventually break down)

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

(Everything has to end

You'll soon find we're out of time left

To watch it all unwind)

The sacrifice is never knowing



Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

(We're all out of time

This is how we find how it all unwinds)

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie

(We're all out of time

This is how we find how it all unwinds)

The sacrifice is never knowing

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Why I never walked away

Why I played myself this way

Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Pushes me away



Runaway



Graffiti decorations

Under a sky of dust

A constant wave of tension

On top of broken trust

The lessons that you taught me

I learn were never true

Now I find myself in question

(They point the finger at me again)

Guilty by association

(You point the finger at me again)



I wanna run away

Never say goodbye

I wanna know the truth

Instead of wondering why

I wanna know the answers

No more lies

I wanna shut the door

And open up my mind



Paper bags and angry voices

Under a sky of dust

Another wave of tension

Has more than filled me up

All my talk of taking action

These words were never true

Now I find myself in question

(They point the finger at me again)

Guilty by association

(You point the finger at me again)



I wanna run away

Never say goodbye

I wanna know the truth

Instead of wondering why

I wanna know the answers

No more lies

I wanna shut the door

And open up my mind



i'm gonna run away and never say goodbye

(gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away)

i'm gonna run away and never wonder why

(gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away)

i'm gonna run away and open my mind

(gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away gonna run away)



I wanna run away

Never say goodbye

I wanna know the truth

Instead of wondering why

I wanna know the answers

No more lies

I wanna shut the door

And open up my mind



i wanna run away

and open up my mind

i wanna run away

and open up my mind

i wanna run away

and open up my mind

i wanna run away

and open up my mind



Some Where I Belong



(When this began)

I had nothing to say

And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me

(I was confused)

And I let it all out to find

That I’m not the only person with these things in mind

(Inside of me)

But all the vacancy the words revealed

Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel

(Nothing to lose)

Just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own

And the fault is my own



I wanna heal

I wanna feel

what I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I’ve held so long

(Erase all the pain 'til it’s gone)

I wanna heal

I wanna feel

like I’m close to something real

I want to find something I’ve wanted all along

Somewhere I belong



And I’ve got nothing to say

I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face

(I was confused)

Looking everywhere only to find

That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind

(So what am I)

What do I have but negativity

’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me

(Nothing to lose)

Nothing to gain, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own

And the fault is my own



I wanna heal

I wanna feel

what I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I’ve held so long

(Erase all the pain 'til it’s gone)

I wanna heal

I wanna feel

like I’m close to something real

I want to find something I’ve wanted all along

Somewhere I belong



I will never know myself until I do this on my own

And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed

I will never be anything 'til I break away from me

And I will break away

I'll find myself today



I wanna heal

I wanna feel

what I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I’ve held so long

(Erase all the pain 'til it’s gone)

I wanna heal

I wanna feel

like I’m close to something real

I want to find something I’ve wanted all along

Somewhere I belong



I wanna heal

I wanna feel

like I’m somewhere I belong

I wanna heal

I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong

Somewhere I belong

my son

personil super junior

Me & My Blue

Dulu,waktu aku pertama kali ketemu ma aa', aku hampir skot jantung.Bayangin aja coba,ditempat yang jauh dihutan rimba seperti tempat aku kerja sekarang ini " Pondsite ", ada seorang cowok yang sesuai banget ma tipe & seleraku.Dia anaknya tinggi, sekitar 170 cm gt deh,udah gt anaknya ganteng banget, kulitnya putih, pokoknya pas banget deh.aku aja kalah putihnya ma aa'.pas dia ngajak kenalan, aku ngerasa kayak ga percaya.rasanya aneh aja, tiba2 aku kenalan ma cowok yang gantengnya minta ampun.tapi setelah perkenalan itu, lama banget kita ga pernah ketemuan.sesekali kita pernah ketemuan tapi cuma say hai aja.soalnya kita ketemunya kl dijalan.ternyata dia kerja di salah satu koperasi karyawan yang ada di pondsite, dan tinggalnya ga jauh dari tempat kost ku.hampir 1 tahun lebih kita ber'say hai, dan tanpa disengaja kita ketemu lagi.tepatnya hari itu adalah hari idul fitri ( hari yang ketiga ).aku ketemu sama dia di koperasi di komplek perumahan Central Housing,disana dia sedang tugas piket di koperasi itu.dan aku pun sedang dapet tugas piket mengecek absensi karyawan stand by idul fitri, yang sudah menjadi rutinitas di tempat kerjaku setiap hari Idul Fitri.disitu aku ngerasa berdebar - debar banget, ganyangka aja aku bisa ketemu ma dia lagi.pas jam makan siang, dia ngajakin aku makan siang.soalnya kan aku disitu sendirian, kawan2ku yang laennya lagi pada sibuk seneng2 semua.sehabis dari makan siang kita balik lagi ke tempat kerjanya.sampai tiba jam pulang, dia ngajak aku jalan2.pas kebetulan juga aku lagi bete jadinya ya aku terima aja tawaran dia.kita jalan ke Dermaga Antasena, emang sih cuma kecil dermaganya.ga kayak di pelabuhan yang gd gt.pi aku seneng bs jalan ma dia.disana aku bisa ngeliat ubur - ubur, binatang laut yang belum pernah aku liat sama sekali sebelumnya.ternyata disana ada 2 macam ubur - ubur, yang satu berwarna merah dan yang satunya lagi berwarna putih.abis ngeliat matahari terbenam kita langsung pulang, soalnya udah sore juga.abis pertemuan itu kita lama ga pernah ketemu lagi, sampai pada suatu malam dia mw maen kekostanku.tapi sayangnya udah keduluan ma kawanku yang juga lagi deket ma aku.aku biasa manggil dia simanis.soalnya anaknya sok manis gt.jadi si aa' ga jadi maen kekostan.tapi dia pantang menyerah,heeeeeeee.........jadi kayak orang perang ' pantang menyerah.besoknya lagi ternyata dia maen kekostan lagi, dia ngajak aku jalan ketempat kawanku.btw karna aku ga ada acara jadinya ya aku terima aja tawarannya.akhirmya kita maen ketempat temennya yang namanya roni.lumayan lama sih, sekedar PDkt gt.pas pulangnya,Jlegerrrrrrrrr...............................bagaikan petir menyambar disiang bolong.Si aa' ngajak gue jalan alias pacaran.pi aku bingung mlm itu, secarakan kita beda agama.dia agamanya islam dan aku agamanya kristen.jadi ya aku jawabnya " ya udah kita jalani aja dulu,gimana kedepannya kita liat aja nanti.sambil kita terus ngejalanin hubungan ini".malam itu tepatnya tanggal 15 November 2006, dan tanggal itu menjadi tanggal special bwt kami.yang selalu kita rayakan setiap tahunnya.setahun sudah aku menjalani hubungan sama dia, dan pada akhirnya kami memutuskan bahwa harus ada salah satu pihak yang mengalah.mengalah dalam arti pindah ke agama yang satunya.dan akhirnya akulah pihak yang harus mengalah.karena ku emang bener - bener sayang ma dia.pada pertengahan tahun 2007 aku memutuskan untuk masuk ke agama islam, awalnya aku tidak disetujui oleh kedua orang tuaku.sampai akhirnya pada bulan Agustus tahun 2006 aku jatuh sakit.saat itu aku sakit Maag Kronis.dan saat itu aku bener 2 udah hampir mati.sampai akhirnya kedua orang tuaku merestui kami berdua dengan ikhlas.mungkin itu juga karena pengertian dari saudara 2 ku ( para Pa'de dan Bu'de ).mulai hari itu aku bisa dengan lega menjalani hubungan ku sama aa' tanpa banyak pikiran dan beban.dan sampai sekarang tepatnya 10 Februari 2009 aku masih tetap bersama aa'ku.Orang yang selalu menjaga, melindungi, menyayangi dan memperhatikan aku dengan penuh kasih sayang dan cintanya yang begitu besar.dan mungkin nanti jika Allah SWT mengijinkan,di bulan Juni nanti kami akan meresmikan hubungan ini.

Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day

Summer has come and passed


The innocent can never last

wake me up when september ends



like my fathers come to pass

seven years has gone so fast

wake me up when september ends



here comes the rain again

falling from the stars

drenched in my pain again

becoming who we are



as my memory rests

but never forgets what I lost

wake me up when september ends



summer has come and passed

the innocent can never last

wake me up when september ends



ring out the bells again

like we did when spring began

wake me up when september ends



here comes the rain again

falling from the stars

drenched in my pain again

becoming who we are



as my memory rests

but never forgets what I lost

wake me up when september ends



Summer has come and passed

The innocent can never last

wake me up when september ends



like my father's come to pass

twenty years has gone so fast

wake me up when september ends

wake me up when september ends

wake me up when september ends